Nothing in the real world ever lives up to what you feel in the inside

I can't seem to feel anything on the inside. I think it's like a mix of emotions. It's all mixed up really bad. I don't know what should I feel. Sad, happy, excited, mad, angry, joyful, I don't know. It's wierd. Nothing seems to be helping either. I want to make this feeling go away, but it just won't. Why is this happening now. It's not anything like I felt before. It's...just nothing. Nothing. It's weird. I'm probably going to speculate on what it could be. I don't know where anything is anymore. I think I might have messed up somewhere. I hate my life. Why does these things happen to me? All I need is alittle courage, a little magic, a little me. There it is, it's a yakusoku between me. I know this is a very short post, but I can't seem to do anything right now. My heart feels like it has stopped. Was it an overload of emotions? I hope not. I want to keep typing but I'm afraid i have run out of words. No words can say what this is.