It's almost midnight

Since it's not midnight when i'm making this post i guess it doesn't qualify for a 'midnight madness' post. Oh well. I finished all my finals and in the next twelve to twenty hours, i'll be back home either sleeping or playing Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of New World, because my brother is a jerk and got the game AFTER i left for college. I'll beat it within three weeks and call it good. Wut? Did you guys expect me to say anything exciting?

Okay, for your enjoyment, I found the Bob and George webcomic and they're pretty funny with thier running gags and rather dumb jokes. This is my personal favorite strip, I'm sure most of you find this to be rather hilarious.
The webcomic itself stopped running a few years back. Oh well, I guess the author of the webcomic decided there was better things to do than to sit and sprite webcomics.

I just got into this new MMO, called Neo Steam, why did i decide on this one? Atlus. Quite the fan of Atlus if you ask me. The Ogre Battle/Tactics Ogre series are amazing. Huge fan of those games. Persona games, simply amazing, still havent gone around to finishing the first one though. I'll get to it once i'm supremely bored of everything else which will probably be very soon knowing me. But there's one thing that's dumb about this MMO, it's that my antivirus thinks that the security of the client is a virus! So it terminates the program. And i can't load up the instance without loading the client cause if i try, it simply says to start the game through the client. What a load of bull. My anti virus really hates me. I just need it to connect to the hartwick internet though. Once I get home, I'll just disable it. What can it do? attempt to enable itself on me?

Right now i'm stuck in my dorm waiting for my ride to come and pick me up for the six to eight hour long drive. I'm probably going to sleep my entire ride home, or at least, most of it. That way I can get up from sleep once i arrive and video games and bother the living life outta my brothers.  Hopefully I already packed up everything i need for the three weeks i'm gone and once I come back for J-Term, I'll remember to bring moar clothes and long sleeve shirts. and moar clothes. Like the shirts that I was planning on bringing but forgot to. I was so sad when I found that out.

If I'm at all awake and can't get to sleep on the ride home, I'll just open my laptop and start writing on the eternal. The Bob and George webcomic have given me quite some ideas on some of the new characters that I might create. Who will these characters be? I have no idea, and even if I do, these characters probably won't flourish for a very long time, and by flourish, I mean getting around to even considering th existsance and role this character MIGHT have in the storyline.

Well, that's all I have for now, ten minutes to midnight, ah, what the heck, it's midnight madness for all i care. Well, i'm done with today's post. I'll probably make a post some other time during my break. untill then, see you guys around.

Midnight Madness III

I just came back from the midnight madness that my college was hosting. I got finals tomorrow at 4pm, but it's psychology, so no study needed. Should be easy ace for me. I really just don't care anymore. I hope I can do whatever I can to just do whatever I can to get through this last week.

ARRGHH! TAKE THIS!! RAGING TRIFECTA BLOW!!! *combo link!* RAGING QUADRUPLE BLOW!!!! *Chain Combo!!* RAGING FINISH!!!! * Transcendant Skill Link!* GLACIER FIST!!!!! *Ascend Chain!* CHAIN CRUSH COMBO!!!!! *Finishing Link!* EXTREMITY ASHURA FIST!!!!!!!!

...now that sounds way more better than just 'Lethal Goldfish Spirit'. Champs for the win. I'm addicted to Ro now. I tried a new server called HeRO, and so far i have a lvl 40 mage. Brings back memories. I remember running around glast heim spamming soul strike and then dying and waiting for a priest to come by and res me. But, i'm different now, don't  get me wrong, I still think Soul Strike is the best spell in game. It's just fire wall works better on the undead. I should go back on aRo. My lvl 98 high priest, All Star, but everyone's gone, everyone but Jinya. Aye, I do miss them all. But times are changing. I need to do something new.

the drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer....

The times when i was lost and depressed from the awful truth...

Aye, SilverStein, for you guys. That's part of the lyrics to one of thier songs and I'm listening to it right now. Amazing stuff, although it's quite emo though. I try to ignore that fact unless i'm really down. But that's not me right now.  Maybe later.

I just want tomorrow to come. I just want to be able to accomplish what I set out to do. Tomorrow, I'll try once more. Maybe i'll be able to pull it off, just don't mess this up, this is different from last year, last year is different from this year. I know it. It's different from all the years. This is College.

Which goes to remind me. I started playing Atlantica Online again. After like a 5 month burnout i'm back. With a Spartan this time. I really should stop talking about video games, it's probably drawing away readers. For you SMBC readers out there: How can i get more readers? Philosophical observation? Mathematics? Naked Female Superheroes? One of those...

Well I already made a wall of text again. I started on the Eternal once more. The title of the chapter is 'The Tobleronist', coined by me. It's a comedy skit compared to the gore and blood we saw on chpt.1 and the storyline telling of chpt. 3-4, and the tragic romance in chpt.5, wow this story mearly has it all. Horror, storyline, tragedy,  romance, comedy, all we need now is for me to actually work on it. Maybe over break. Yeah, that'd be great. I should do that. Then maybe Tao'll finally get somewhere. Aye, I feel like I can do alot with Tao, I mean after all, Tao is made in the image of me. There's no better person for me to inpersonate than myself. Better than my comics in which Max was made out to be a typical rpg hero. That wasn't that great, after I finish the forgotten, I'll go back and revise Legends of Destiny and maybe if i'm lucky enough with blogspot, I can make a mini webcomic here on another blog of mine.

Wow it's 2 am right now, I spent an hour typing this. hopefully this'll make up for all the blog posts i missed. Either way, tired like a freshman coming out of a linear algebra course, I better get some rest for tomorrow, even though it's just psych. Well, I guess I'll see you guys some time, kay peace.

Midnight Madness II

It's just past midnight. I'm tired and hungry, but I have to get these two research papers done. They're ten to fifteen page long papers. They're also due tomorrow. I finally signed up for some of my classes. I Got into multivariable calculus class, an intro to sociology class, and an intro to psych class. Take a guess as which one's going to be easy and which one's going to be near impossible. my other two classes I signed up for are and Intro Chem class and a 311 creative writing fiction. I need to take an intro to creative writing class to get into the course, but my english professor recommended this class to me and the professor for the course decided to give me a chance of getting in by submitting a work of fiction in.

Appearently one of the guys I hang out with is in the writing center and another one has taken the class before. Now that's luck. Appearently the professor hates fantasy writing so I had to ditch my idea of submitting the intro and the first chapter of -The Eternal-. So I had to come up with some realistic fiction work. Luckily I had written something like that before. Luck, right? It gets better. So I written two pieces, one about an apathetic high school student who dread being there, and a gangster who got caught up in a chase scene. I'll post them here at the end of my post. What i'm doing is i'm gunna try to submit both of them in, and if I can't then i'll just submit in the one about the high school student.

I really think everything really is going to work out now. I know all I need to know now. My life is amazing. It just got tons better, and I can make it even more better. Well, the academics kinda made my life kinda [poop]y. But I can tough it out. Tomorrow, wait, that's today, So, Today, i'll do what i can to finish these [deity][darn]ed papers!

Well, that's it for now, next week's final week, so I probably wont be on here much during that time. Oh well. I mean, after doing 16 essays within the past four days and these two research papers, I'm ready to just call it done. And i'm not exagerating, i'm more like understating the fact. Robert said that I've done more work than he ever did in his entire time here. I feel so sad. But this is kinda what I had coming. I've got to stop procrastinating. Like I am right now. Wow. Well, here's the stories. Read and enjoy!~

-The Differences in our Lives
Another day of high school. I never really liked high school. I can’t seem to get along with everyone else, but I have to go, my mother makes me. Here I am, waiting in front of the bus stop; waiting for the bus to come. Just waiting. It is dead middle of Winter, in the cold city of Portland in the great state of Maine. The temperature is freezing. If I were to spit, the spit would freeze before it hit that ground. I gaze down the streets, looking for the bus. I could barely make out the yellow colored vehicle that just happened to be my bus. I would smile at this point, but I was too cold to actually move my facial muscles.
I step onto the bus. The bus driver, who was a big man of English descent with a decent amount of extra baggage in his fifties and a great beard, looks at me, grunts, and close the door as soon as I get in. Before I even had the chance to get in my seat, the bus starts moving and I nearly lost my balance. It has been like this for about three years now. I settle down into my seat and waited for the bus to arrive at school. The bus kept pulling over to the sidewalk to pick up more students. I knew everyone, but only by name. They all sat down and started conversing on the bus. Everyone but me. I kept waiting; listening to the senseless chatter of the people there. Sometimes they talk openly about what they did last night or about their classes, other times they talk about secretive things that they didn’t want a certain person to know. I didn’t care what they say, but it was a way to kill the time before arriving at school.
I rubbed the condensation on my window so I could see through it. We were getting near school. I put on my backpack and sat up, waiting for the bus to stop. Slowly the bus approached the school, drove into the bus lane and came to a stop. The doors to the bus opened and the students began to file outside of the bus and into the school. I walked out of the bus, into the freezing snow, and looked up at our school. Our school was a three story building with an underground floor. Instead of being made with red bricks, the brick were tanned colored, which I always thought was weird. I hurriedly walked into the school trying to get out of the snow as soon as I can. Upon entering the school, I walked down the hallway, the pinkish and off white tiled flooring. I headed up to the library to do some studying before my classes.
On my way to the library I looked out the window and saw some man being chased by another man. Looks like another chase scene. Suddenly the man who is running after the other man pulls out a gun and starts shooting at the chased. Oh, must be another one of those gangster shootings. I thought to my myself. In this town, there’s these gun fights all the time, I could have gone to a different high school, but I heard that there’s gun fights there too. I guess in the end, I didn’t care and went with whatever my parents wanted me to attend.
I enter the library and I looked around for a good place to sit down. The library had a light-maroon colored carpet and wooden walls that started from the ground to halfway up the wall. The other half was concrete. I found a comfortable corner and I took off my winter jacket and placed it into the corner along with my backpack. I began to go through the books in the library and picked one up. It was titled, ”Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844” by Karl Marx. I’ve heard the name before but I never really knew what he did. I opened up the book and began reading it. I didn’t seem to care, but at least it helped pass the time.

-Calamity’s Reach
“Bang!” I hear a gunshot from behind me. It is too dangerous on the road. I run down the barely moonlit street, and turn the corner. I stop for a few seconds to catch my breath. “Where’d he go?” I hear a male voice from the distance. They are close. “I think he turned the corner there!” I hear another man speak. I began running again, trying to get away; trying to live long enough to get out of this mess. I don’t know where I was going, all I know is that I have to keep running.
Soon I came upon an old construction site. It is too dark out for me to know where I am going. I could hear the running footsteps rapidly approaching. I have to find a place to hide. I wander around this old place. There are walls and the building itself was almost finished. I ran up to the second floor and I notice that there was no ceiling, since the second floor was not yet finished. As quietly as I can, I entered a room and hid there. It was dark, but the absence of the moonlight in this room made it hard to see.
Why am I being chased by these guys? Well, I was sent by my gang leader to spy on the Shining Monkeys gang to see what they were up to. We were the Spirit Walkers and the Shining Monkeys were our rival gangs and we hated each other. This hatred has stemmed from the break up of the former gang, the Z-Syndicate. The leader of the Z-Syndicate died and there was a struggle for power. The gang broke up into what is now the Spirit Walkers and the Shining Monkeys. They took out both my brothers and put down plenty of our own gang members. I was spying on them, listening on their next plan when I accidentally messed up and activated an alarm.
I heard a ‘bang!’, but this isn’t a gun. They are here, it has to be them. They are kicking down doors and looking in the rooms. I hid behind a desk that was left in a corner of the room. I pull out my Smith & Wesson 9mm semi-auto and I load it. I hid under the desk and I wait. I begin to sweat tremendously. I don’t think I’ll make it out here tonight. I hear my door kick open. My heart begins to pound. The footsteps got closer and closer. I grasp onto my gun tightly. There is at least three of them, I can tell from the footsteps.
I know they are coming. I see legs walk past me. Looks like they passed me. Then I hear a voice “Hey, check under the desk, he might be there!” Damn it! I thought to myself, They got me. I point my gun to where I think the person’s head is going to show up. Le looks under and sees me, I pull the trigger. A loud “Bang!” rang throughout the room. The body drops back and hit the ground. My heart beating, pulsating throughout my body. I know if I stay here, I will die. I crawl out and I hear yelling from the other gangsters. I point and fire in their direction and they fire back. It felt as if sharp burning thorns going into me. “Ah!” I scream in pain. Trying to keep my self together, I back up against the wall and I take aim at the other gangsters and I shoot them down. By now everyone in the building would have heard that gun fight.
I lean against the wall and I slide down to the ground. These spikes of pain that writhe through me. I grab my wounds, I can’t stand the pain. Where did I get shot? I run my left hand down my body. Right here, they got me right in the heart. “Hahah…I messed up.” I say to myself. I keep breathing, trying to stay alive. Despite the fact that I know I can’t. I see two more shadowy figures approach. I hear a voice “This is what you get for messing with the Shining Monkeys!” as the figure pulls something out. I feel something cold and hard up against my head. This is it. I think to myself, Well, at least, I’ll be able to be with my brothers again. Trigger pulls, a loud “BANG” ensued. All went black.

Quick! He just logged on, everyone log off now!

Sorry about missing the last few posts, i don't think i'll be posting much soon either. This week and last week have been [underworld] for me. I had to write 18 papers [NO JOKE]. I got done like 9 of them within the day 3-4 days. my head hertz. although 10 of the papers are just simple 1-2 page papers. But 2 of those papers are 8-10 page research papers. And I have to turn in two papers for psych class. I managed to finish one of the psych papers because it was the same paper as the one i wrote for english about violence in video games. Ah, using the same paper for two of my classes,  such a time saver. My portfolio's due today though. I have to refine my four english papers and turn them in by today. I feel so sad now. Overload of work. Shoot me now. Final week is next week. I don't understand math at all. I'm scared. Well, i hope it's not too bad.

It's snowing out again. Only this time, there's high velocity winds to go along with it. Now i know the meaning of "I have a hard time getting to class" when my friends say that. Yup. Moving left to right, the ind keeps on changing, almost as if it's playing with me. And theres like 2inches of snow on the ground. In december. wow, this doesnt happen very often. usually we get snow after it's december. oh well, enjoy it before I start to hate it.

I better get back to writing my papers. I started writing on the Eternal again. back onto the 6th chapter, it's not done yet, so please bare with me. I'll make a post on here when i do actually post it. There's some humor in this chapter compared to the other chapters. Well, I guess i'll see you guys around. Until then.

Infinite Cubes

hey everyone. Back from turkey break. Except there was turkey missing from my break. The turkey was replaced by pop tarts. The commons (the place where our diner is) was closed the entire break, so I had to improvise with the six dollars I was willing to spend on food for the break because of this...expected event. I stayed inside my dorm the entire time and played mmo's and Persona: Revelations. It was fun. I was hungry, but entertained. I was cold, but entertained. I was smelly, but entertained. But really, I live in the first floor of my dorm with tiled flooring so the floor is super cold and the air is enough to freeze my arms. To prevent this, I wrapped shirts around my arms. I looked a little silly, but i was warm. Worth it.

I got out of my math class about an hour ago, and I got my test back. I did alittle better than I expected. 52/100. I expected a zero +40 extra points. so 12 points better. Proud of myself. Proud that I don't understand anything at all in that class. Go me. I woke up around 8am today, but didn't feel like getting out of bed so i 'slept in' till 9am when i had math and so after math i went to the commons and filled two plates worth of food to the top and just murderated the food right into my stoumach. I'm glad i finally i got some other source of food into mah belleh other than pop tarts.

Right now I have two papers to write and a research paper to do. It's just nonstop papers for me. Man, one of them is even due today. Just my luck. One is on comparing and contrasting two films and another is to do a marxist analysis of my college campus. The last one should be easy because of how much i find marx interesting, but it isn't because i have to cite sources from the book, but I don't have that book. oh well. For my research paper....I have to find a topic that interests me in my philosophy course and write a paper on that. I thought it'd be nice to have a good amount of knowledge on that subject as well. So i picked interpreting Freud's Oedipus Complex. That is so me right there.

Well that's all I have for today, I'll make a post on Thursday, so stay tuned till then. And I hoped you guys had a better turkey break than I did, cause if you didn't then man that must have been one hell of a break.

Another Saturday Post

Hey guys. Sorry for not being able to post as often as i should. things...have been getting...complicated around here. yeah, sorry for that. I've got like two more papers to write. It's just non stop papers for me.

Well I played some Blazblue on thursday, I'm getting quite used to Jin. I think i got it figured out, the whole fighting game thing. combos are very effective, although I can't do like 15 hits, i can pull off like 5 hits and sometimes 8 hits. mostly lighht hits though. I'm getting there.

Things have been pretty interesting on Ro lately, I'm in a guild now it's made up of like 6 people, but there's like 11 characters in it. the other 5 of them all belong to the guild leader as his alts. I've made the guild chat quite lively and have gotten two quiet people to participate in the guild chat. It's basically non stop as we bash on each other about randomness.

well, other than that, I have one more day of class before november break. hopefully i can catch up on my school work during that time. hopefully. Well, anyways, i've got nothing better to do for now, so I guess i'll see you guys some other  time. yeah. until we meet again, as they say.

Red Reversal

Stayed up till two in the morning thurday night playing uno with Chris, Robert, and Brian. It was mad fun. I really liked the part when we said that we were going to play a quick game at 11pm and it turned into this. It was soo late at night, that we started to think that everything was funny. Drew Carey. We just kept making bad quotes the entire time. Red Reversal, it happens once a month. Robert decided to write down all these quotes onto a paper bag and thus it became a bag of quotes. literally. Yellow reversal, it's a bad urinary tract. Another funny thing is that robert never won a game of uno before, until that night. which was hilarious cause the round before that, he accumulated about 53 cards in his hand. Remember Yugi, believe in the heart of the card! you do that and this is what happens.

I know I haven't posted a post all week, but that's cause I got addicted to ragnarok online. again. for the second time. what can i say? it's fun. amazing. plus, it's 2D sprites in a 3D world. It's fun! plus, the sprites are awesome. Brings back all the good times. Wizzies are amazing in that game. At first, they are horrible because they aren't exactly great at taking hits. or dealing damage. or anything related to killing stuff. 10 sec cast times are horrible! but if you can execute the spell, soon entrails massive damage. At the higher lvls, that's when the wizzies real power starts to show. Since the max cap for dex is 99, if you can achieve a dex of 150 total, you can cast spells without cast time. meaning, insta-cast! if you can also somehow get the vesper card, which reduces cooldown by 30%, you can spam meteor storm and like 10 meteors will come down at once and pwn everything! very fun~ XD

The third classes got released on kRo. And they're amazing. The rune knights are awesome! They're basically magic swordsmen. they have this one buff that adds physatk to magicatk and that = regular dmg. 5k crits anyone?

well, that's enough about video games, now for academics. I'm glad to say that on my last math quiz, I got a 0/30 on it! yeah! it cakes skills to get a zero on a quiz. but this is math, so that mean i'm pretty dumb....
well either way, I have to write a paper about psychoanalyzing actual people or once of the past people that we read about for philosophy class. It's due this monday. Guess what I have been doing all this weekend?
I chose to psychoanalyze my professor and it turned out to be great. I got down plenty of info and hopefully, this will amount to at least five pages worth of psychoanalysis.

Well, I better get going soon, I have a D&D game to go to in about 12 minutes. Hopefully I'll be able to make a post about something in a few days. See you guys around.

Flying Penguin Blast

Well today i had leadership training. Appearently now we've got a 'project' we're working on right now. I can't say now since it's classified information. it went from 10am to 3:20pm. yay. five hours and twenty minutes worth of leadership training. I know I have the ability and potential to become a leader, I just choose not to. I'll step up to the plate when there is no one else to, cause well, at least, I know what I'm doing. Or so i hope.

I just found out that I have a paper due on Monday. yay. Well, that's something for me to work on. After that I've got to do the quiz corrections for math. Too much  work to do X.x

I finished watching the Utawarerumono anime and, well, just wow. It's different. The basic storyline is the same. But many of the more detailed things are changed. Buut....It's....better this way i suppose. I mean, the ending in the anime was much better than the ending in the game. One specific reason. I'll let you guys find that one out ;D

Well, that's my rant for today. see you guys in a few days or so.

Mikoto

I ran out of ideas for a decent title so i came up with this. I know, it's sad but, oh wells.

I'm currently trying to finish up my math corrections before tomorrow. It's pretty bad. there's so many problems on there. What's even worst is that i'm typing it all out. I'm afraid the teacher wont accept it if i hand write it. either that or he does, it's just once i do that, he wont accept hand written work anymore.

I haven't been doing anything lately. It's already November...wow. But still...September and October always seem like it's the two months that fly by the fastest. I've always felt like this. But i know that I lived through the slow days of september and october, It still felt like they didn't even exist. I don't know why.

There's already a trace of snow on the ground. It's going to get colder from here. I'm not sure if i'd like that. Paired with the amazing wind flow we get here, being on a hill. Oh well, guess i'm just going to have to tough it out.

I tried Utawarerumono on very hard mode. That is impossible. Everyone goes after the main dude. either that or the healer. It's no fun. Normal mode and hard mode were fun cause it wasn't impossible. I'm stuck on a stage fighting a boss that's melee ranged on a mount. = mad mobility. not fun. Unless i can corner him, I can't heal without getting healer killed and I can't kill him cause he's got about 200hp and enough def to make it so i only deal about 10dmg per hit. not fun. I get him down like halfway before my leader dies. whatev. I'll just do hard mode instead. At least in that it's not impossible. Now i can only imagine what super very hard mode it like...

Well, that's all i have for today. see you guys on Sat then.

Utawarerumono

Wow. I completely missed saturday and yesterday's updates. wow. just wow. Oh well, I'm here now.

I got this new game called Utawarerumono. Except it's in japanese so i had to get an english patch. It was fun because it's been a long time since i last played a strategical rpg. Well, it's half that. The other half is a visual novels. I'm not much into those, but i think it really helped the storyline. Unlike many visual novels out there, the storyline to this one is amazing. But also very xenogears like. nontheless, amazing. Also another thing i liked about this game is the music. fasinating. A simply must have for me.

I also finished watching the anime 'Eden of the East' It's really good. The first episode is like an episode to draw you in and the rest is very intriguing. Also lately i realized i've been stuffing waay too much storyline into my head and i'm afraid i wont be able to digest them all without leaving some stuff out.

Well, that's all i can think up of right now. see you guys some other time, till' I post another post here.

"Mosh Mosh Revolution?" "Yeah, it's like 'Dance dance revolution' in a moshpit with punk music."

Third time going through MegaTokyo. Wow, I'm becoming a MT addict. fast. XD
Although because of it, I've decided to get some bioware games. Like Baldur's Gate. Playing it right now. It's pretty awesome. I can create my personal team of six people just like in AD&D Path of Radiance only this time, with better everything! I can have it real time or turn based which is actually a really nice feature. Can't run it on max specs though. Oh well.

After reading MegaTokyo, I really wanna build computers now. I have some friends who can actually do it. Maybe I can ask them, or perhaps take a computer building class or something of the like. Then I could go out, buy my own parts and build it myself. After reading MegaTokyo though, Gets me wondering, Should I really strip down buttnaked to assemble my computer? I read from Largo that it's the best way to prevent static buildup. Perhaps to just some boxers will work. At least, that's what they did in MegaTokyo.

Btw, I got my math test back....andd....I totally bombed it. Well, I did better than I expected. I got a 21/105. That's an infinite amount of times better than what I originally thought i would get. I'm going to do corrections for it soon, but i've got two papers to write first. I can't give up on them now. Ugh, but's it's really difficult. I hope I get it right. One's due tomorrow and another's due tuesday. Well, I hope i get it done.

Weelll, other than that, not much else really. I mean...yeah. Not really. Well I guess I'll see you guys on Sat. Peace out.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right!

My older brother got addicted to Perfect world again. Now he wants me to play again. I quitted that silly game two years ago. One main reason. Two hours to gain 3%exp then you die, and you lose 5%exp. You sigh and say you were just unlucky. You then make one kill, get mobbed and die. Another 5% gone. Within ten mins. of trying you're back at 0%exp. Great, just great.
 One plus though is that the character creation is awesome. I can make people have rainbow hair xP

anyways, I have an essay due on friday. I've been reading the books i need to read, but i'm not really getting anywhere though. It's hard to understand what goes on in the books. I started underlining important lines and It really helps, It definitely keeps my mind from wandering all over the place. Hopefully I'll get the essay done soon. After that I have one more essay to write. But the second is alot easier.

lately i've been having stranger and stranger dreams. The last one involving pokemon cards. Now that was really messed up. I wonder what does it all means. I could try to analyze it, but i'm afraid my psychological skills aren't good enough to do that. I should start reading my Freud book though. Perhaps that might help.

I gone through megatokyo again. and there's plenty of things in there I found out. It's pretty awesome. There's tons of subtle messages in each strip. And it definitely helps with this storyline I plan to do on my own.

I know, this seems like a rather boring post, but well, nothing exciting happened. yeah, all boring. There's not even a pic in all of it. oh well. I guess, It's time for me to make things right again. See you guys around.

You're just a mini game, simple, easily won, and mildly amusing.

Reading MegaTokyo and came across this line. Great for telling someone that you don't want them around. Or that you're better than them. Well, actually that depends on the mini game. If it's a flash mini game, I might get addicted to it. lmao, that doesn't sound too great.

I tried to get that free windows 7 thing my pc came with. But i can't. I have to wait until I can get a hold of the reciept before i can get it sent. And even if i don't need it, I have no idea what my mailbox address is so I'm having it sent home. I'll go pick it up when I head back up there for winter break. So far the loniness in my dorm isn't that great. It's raining out to make matters worse.

Remember that math exam I said I have yesterday? yeah, I totally bombed it. My guess that the everage score i got on the test was 0/103. I did not understand a single thing on the test. I just zero'ed most of the answers. It was ridiculous. Hopefully I'll be able to bring it up to halfway or something. I should go see the professor to straighten everything out. Sometimes i just don't understand anything. And well, I'm scared to ask in class cause everyone else is nonfreshman. Plus, I also slow down the class too. I know teachers usually say it's alright, but i'm not alright with it.

From k -12 grades, I always got past them with my innate knowledge that I had on the subject. Simple matters. Algebra? Simple. Geometry? Simple. Biology? Simple. Chemistry? Simple. History? Simple. English? Simple. Physics? Now that's complicated. That was the only class from K - 12 that I actually struggled with. Now here in college it seems I just can't get laid back anymore like I used to in high school. Simply doing the minimal required work isn't enough to let me pass.

Well, I still had two books that I gotta read and an essay to write by friday. It's goign to be qutie amusing what I can come up with. It's an essay comparing Nietzche's Also sprach Zarathustra and Plato's Phaedo. I've only read parts of Also Sprach Zarathustra and haven't even touched Phaedo. Too bad it's vacation right now too.

No time like the present, right? Although I might wanna draw something while i'm at it. it's been a long while since i last drew in my comics. It's kinda not going anywhere. Oh wells, I'll get to it some other time. Hard to believe that 5 years have passed since I started my comics. Look at how far it's gone. From simply a mess to stick figures to stick figure-based full models to well...that last one. So much has happened. I still am wondering what happened in my old one. It made no sense whatsoever and it was aimed at funny.

I also noticed in many people's blogs they have tons of pictures, i mean, just wow. Tons of it. Lmao, in this blog I'd be lucky If i could even get one picture for every post. All i have for a camera now is my phone. That's it. And it's not very hi-quality. Oh wells. Maybe I can come up with a meduim in between. Well, I'll see you guys around then.

Do you seriously think you're going to get any with lame lines like that?

Yep. You'd be surprised. amazing really. Lmao. Was reading Megatokyo over again and came across this line. again. Can't help but laugh. amazing. truely amazing. It one of the many ways girls have to shoot down guys.

Math exam tomorrow. Gotta get there at 8:30am. So i better wake up a little early than i'm used to. I think I can pull it off. Hopefully I won't mess up. I really messed up the first one. I still have two philosophy papers to write. And tons of reading to do.

I couldn't figure out how to hi-res my laptop cam so i just used my phone. the pictures get compressed on sending cause the pic's file size is too large. [insert cell phone rant here]. So i got my drawing of Lin Kai up. Now all i have do to is locate it. It's not the best drawing out there on the net, it's not even great. Just average. I feel so bad that my drawings are just average cause everyone else i know draws better than me. Well, almost. I don't have a scanner so a phone cam's the best i have to get my sketches up.

*Takes a deep breath*
well, here it is, it's my first time putting a drawing on the net, so i'm a bit scared. Okay enough talk, here you go:
What do you guys think? It's the first drawing that I've tried to include the folds and bends when you wear clothes. I have plenty of other sketches but this one's my latest and the only modern drawing. The rest are done in either a medival type drawing or a fantasical type drawing.

Weelll, as for vacation, it seems like i'll be in my dorm the entire time. *sighs* great way to spend my vacation. Maybe get those essays done. maybe. It's better this way i guess. Well, that's my wall of text for today. Maybe something exciting will happen between now and saturday. Maybe. until then i suppose.

They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You, Then They'll Tell You It's Fair.

Listening to some MJ, it's very funky. hilarious. If you take the time to listen to the actual music and lyrics, it's amazing. amazingly funny.

I just got my exam back. it went up 22 points. so it's 44/70. It's more than 60%,but barely. So I pass. YES!!! Too bad I have all my midterms on friday though. Man, everyone else i know has it spread out over this week. Not only that, I have to get in my english paper done today. Which i haven't started yet. Talk about last minute. Then i have two philosophy paper to write too. I've got a week to do them in though. I hope i won't procrastinate throughout the vacation that starts on Sat. I'm staying in my dorm the entire time though. Well, with any luck some of my friends will stay too so i have something other than staying in front of my laptop screen the entire vacation.

yet on another note, webcomics. hilarious. I just found another one, The Adventures of Dr.Mcninja, It's about a n irish doctor who also happens to be a ninja. Went on xkcd, i've been really busy lately and forgot to check up on the updates. found this one, seemed to be something I'd do.

mouseover text: A laptop battery contains roughly the stored energy of a hand grenade, and if it shorted...hey! You can't arrest me if I prove your rules inconsistent!

After digesting the story of MegaTokyo a second time, I decided to add another part to the Eternal timeline, in which the storyline is loosely based on MegaTokyo.  Two guys who are in college in a technologically advanced time in the Eternal world, are best buds. Living a life on campus and living a life in virtual world MMORPG, 'Zero Burst', where the two adventure together and goes through a series of obstacles in their quest to stop a conspiracy that is causing the collapse of the mmo. While in real life, the two are faced with many real life problems, academics, drama with girls and other guys, all while at the same time, there is another main character on the other side of the world of Eternal who eventually meets the two guys through the mmo.
well, right now, it seems really confusing, but that's because of my horrible wording. excuse me for that, even though english is my primary language, well, it's english, I could really care less. Anyways, once i'm able to clearly flush this concept through, I'll be able to evolve it thoroughly.

I decided to draw the characters in my sketchbook, and so far, I've only come up with just only one drawing, Lin Kai, whose, the other main character who lives on the other side of the world from the main two charaters. I haven't come up with a name for the two main characters, but i think i will eventually. I'll post up the sketches as soon as i can get this camera on my laptop to go hi-res. right now it's on super low-res, it's horrible.

wow, now that's a wall text, I think i'm done for today. Sorry about missing yesterday's, I decided to post today to make up for then. Well, see you guys tomorrow then.

Carrying the burden when you barely know the person; that is the difference between the Pharaoh and the Servant

Hey guys. Sorry about the whole update mess. I completely forgot to do thursday's update. sorry. But anyways, alot has happened over time since my last post and now. I was thinking of waiting a little bit since i'm going to be doing stuff later today, but I guess i'll just include that into my next update.

Anyways, yesterday I got to finish my math quiz, only this time i think i got some of it right, who knows? I really got to amp up my math skills. It's horrible. I suck at math. This isn't supposed to happen. Oh well. Anyways, I started to read this webcomic, megatokyo. I really like it. I just read up to the lastest strip and now i'm on my second read through of the thing. It's awesome.

I got re-addicted to atlantica. This sucks. That and epik high. They're awesome. Listening to Maze now. Life; it's a maze y'all.

other than that, well...I when to a party last night. I her again, but this time...I guess you could say that I could really care less. I...really don't know. What should I do? My life sucks. Will this really make it better? Will it really? Is it worth it? It's a murder fact; reality kills. I did dance around little. It was kinda enjoyable. Kinda. I know what's going on. But other than that, my dance moves are totally unique. Try to find someone else who could dance like me. I just need to work on my foot work alittle bit more before I can actually complete my unique dance.

I get to make a t-shirt later on today though. After reading megatokyo, I got the perfect idea for the shirt. It's going to read "PH34R T3H L33T" And on the back...well...I dunno. Maybe an smbc  thing were it'll be a picture then underneath it be a best/worst case senario thing.

It's going to be awesome. I learned in psych class about mirror neurons. And I swear, I won't become like them. No I refuse. I'm going to be that change. They're going to become me. Not the other way around. I must be strong. I must keep it strong. I can't give up, not now, not ever.

Well, back to reading megatokyo, I guess i'll see you guys around. omg. I just remembered. Eternal -The Forgotten-, wow, the irony. I'm going to make a post to that now. Go read it! I'm planning on making a webcomic out of it, either that or make a webcomic of another part of Eternal. I'm definitly considering a webcomic. Just not right now, I don't have the means yet to do that.

Either way, I'm outta here. See you guys on tuesday. I hope i don't forget. Time to upload that next chapter. See you guys around. peace out.

It's wednesday...

Nuts. I missed the update day yesterday. again. This isn't going very well. Oh well, It's for good reason though. I spent the entire day doing my math exam corrections. And today we also got our Quiz 3 back, and i got a 11/15 on it. geez, that's almost failing! what's that? like about 72% right @_@
Well, only one thing to say about that, new high score! YEEESSS!

i know, It's not something i shouldn't be praising, but it's a new high score. I do not know i should be happy that i beat my previous highest score or be sad at the fact that a 72 is my highest score.

I think i'm starting to enjoy college now. I don't get to shoot stuff until the 29th or 30th, and even then, I'd still need to find some form of earplugs. We also gotta get some form of eye protection too, and Yuri said that eyeglasses are good, and well, I wear glasses XD

Today I have a club meeting with this community service club at 5:00pm that's mandatory, but I have class at 5:15pm...what the...an i supposed to do? I guess i'll go over there for 5 mins, say hi, and leave for class.

Well, today at math, I think i accidentally attracted yet another wandering soul. Oh dear. I guess i can use this as living proof to deny Christian Lander saying that white chicks don't go for Asian guys, cause this one white chick is so going for me. I can see it, literally. This is sad, I feel like i'm being too evil here.

Plus I've got another four papers to write, nice. Man, i thought philosophy would be easy, but it really isn't. I have to write an interpret and compare paper between Plato's "Phaedo" and Nietzsche's "Also Sprach Zarathustra". It's due in about two weeks though so I got plenty of time.

Well, I better go and turn in my math exam corrections and get started on my quiz three corrections. I'll make an update post tomorrow, I'll like put a post it note right above my laptop so it'll be right there so i won't forget. Well, peace out now, and see you guys around.

Oh whoa, a sixth finger! and a Toblerone! This is so worth the risk! (what really happens when you go past the speed of light)

Hey guys, sorry i missed the update yesterday, so i'm doing it today. I had to go play D&D with some friends. It was fun, we're the good group, but we all can be totally evil at times. It awesome. I never played the tabletop before so it's really nice. Now it makes me wanna play that dumb one that i used to play. lmao. I just might wanna get it now.

and on friday night I went roller skating with a bunch of other people. I really liked it. I mean at first you fall and lose your balance and all that. But after six...seven....ten....twelve falls, you'll get used to it. Or at least, i did. It's funny, they're all like wannabe gangsters, but they're all actually really nice guys. But, that's still not going to stop me from ripping on them. lmao.

AAnd today's family/parent's  weekend, so there's extremely good food out in the commons. yumm. But other than that, i've been thinking recently, the only reason i kept trying at roller skating despite my falls is that I encouraged myself to do it. I realized that I've never had much of any encouragement in my life ever, that most of the encouragement i get is from myself.

Well, I guess this is both good and bad. But, it doesn't really matter, now does it? I gotta get my math corrections done. Can't let it weight me down, I need that class. well, see you guys on tuesday, that is, assuming that I don't forget like I did this time. lmao. peace out.

Hybrid Rainbow

It all doesn't look very well. I hate it. I hate it all. The weather, the classes, the professors, the students, the geography, everything. Dam these flash games. Dam this dumb antivirus. But, mmm, it's thursday. another update.

I got my math exam back yesterday. guess what i got? 22/70. a phuking 22 out of 70. do the math, thats only about 30 percent. that's only half of what i needed to get to pass. So i'm going to have to drop my calc class. not yet though, My teacher said he'll put on a final grade on it after our corrections. So there goes another weekend to math. Man, this really sucks.

Things are really going downhill here. Everytime i pass her, she's got those headphones on. I'm afraid of saying hi when passing by when she's got those things on. I know she's just going to ignore me with those things on. It's...happened to me before. I hate it. Even if she's not going to, I just feel like she will. Perhaps, perhaps this is not supposed to be? I...i don't know anymore.

Is this fate? Am i just using fate as a godhead? I cannot allow that. Is there fate out there? is there really a real godhead out there that exists? Or is it all relative? I don't know anymore. At one point in time i thought that i understood everything. What happened? Cause now you know nothing. My life sucks.


Here's another xkcd image for you all! enjoy, i think this accurately shows my feelings on this subject.
well, that's all for today guys, sorry about that rant. Well, i guess it's time for some more video games. Or at least until classes. Man, I miss  my old psych class, and for one really good reason. Btw, I made a new post in my story, read it up here!Weeellll, anyways, peace out y'all.

Time and space placement of reletivity

Kinda fancy for a post title, don't you think?
Anyways, It's tuesday! Time for an update!
I think i've got it all set. I'm pretty sure of the 3 problems on that last part of my math exam. With any real hope, I'll get to stay in my class, who knows? Only tomorrow will tell.

Today I had philosophy. It was an interesting class. Provided alot of insight. Today we talked about the definition of love. I cannot relate to this topic at all so i sat back and just listened. I'm not going to write what was actually going on in philosophy, but on a premise it was like all about it being a top tier emotion and that it just happens.

On another note, I joined the rifle'ing club. It was just formed last night. It seems pretty awesome so far. I mean, we have to pay $2 to use the range and $2 for 50 rounds, but other than that, it seems to be quite awesome. This way, i can finally to up to wannabe gangsters and say that I have actually fired a gun. Plus, this may be a way for me to let go my anger that i contain in me. I mean right now, I feel like it's not even there, but i know, it's there.

Now for the part i've personally been waiting for... =D
the life i currently have. It's not getting better. Not even close. What should I do? Maybe starting to greet her again may be a good start. I hate my life. What should i say? Will the truth work? what is the truth? I didn't greet you because i was too concerned about myself? hmm...that does sound a little bit cocky. Now to add some humor to that. How about 'hey, I couldn't greet you over the past week or so because i was too concerned with myself to really think about any outside influence.' and toss a tiny smile to make it look like there is some humor in that. And if that fails then I'll say 'what? no sense of humor?' and well, if that fails too then shit i'm outta luck. Man, this is so complicated. life is complicated. Then again, if it was simple, then it'd be way to easy.

Sometimes, sometimes, the easy way is the better way. sometimes, I just wanna give up cause it's just to hard for me to handle. I gotta keep hanging on, you know? The truth is ruthless, two faced, bruteless, crude taste, the truth is a moot case full of blame.

Kay, well that's all for today. I guess. Stay cool guys. Hopefully i'll be able to start shooting stuff soon. It may be the only outlet I have to deal with all this complication. Peace out y'all.

How do I do it?

Hey guys. what's up?
Just came back, went and saw hangover with the cute girl. Did not end well. How should I do it? How do they do it? I need to find some way to be funny. I think I should try my motional hand signs. Make fun of the things I usually make fun of. Like i did back at work. I poked fun at everything. I was a riot. Maybe i can pull it off again. You know, nothing works better like humor. Although it seems like i have some competition. Things are getting interesting.

Although i am not surprised at all. Each and every time I chased a girl, there always was competition. I fear the worst, but in the end, only this one time where it was the worst, and i didn't even know there was competition! So i know i'm going to be alright here. I gotta brainstorm up some cocky lines. To add to my humor. But first, you should try to get that humor out. Then work on  your cockyness.

I may not be very confident, but i'm confident enough to actually speak and know a girl for this long...well, minus that other one i just talked about. lmao. That was not that long before that person began to excommunicate me. I hope it doesn't end the same here.

I think I know what I'm doing. I hope i know. It's only ten, wow. I've got plenty of time. lmao. Plenty of time. I got to get up at 9 am for calc. And that exam. It's still riding on my back. Hopefully i'll get enough to stay in the class. I hope i know what to do. Not only that, i still gotta do my enligh homework. I never turned a single page in the book. It's horrible. Why? two simple words. Flash games.

Adventure quest world is waay to addicting! don't try it! i'm not saying it's bad, in fact, it's really good! I like it, it's just, i can't get any work done because of it. I hate it! but I like it! hmm...I think i'll call this the get your work done! paradox. lmao. For you SMBC readers, this is a reference to the get a job paradox.

Well, I'm off to play some flash games. (specifically aqw) see you guys on tuesday, that is assuming that I don't make another random post on a non update day like today. ;p

Void the Ability in the Hyperlink

Hey guys. What's up?
Appearently i majorly failed my math exam. there were two tests, and I was only sure of 15/40 points on this first one and on the second one was a calculator one and I forgot to bring one. yay. I couldn't do any on the second one. so in other words, i got a 15/80 on the exam. That is Faaar below 60%.
Luckily, I have another chance at this test though. Since we ran out of time, the professor allowed us to re study over the weekend and continue on our exam on monday or tuesday. I've been trying to mad study so i can pass this exam. I just want to pass.

In any other case, my antivirus is dumb. I think it corrupted the cabinet files on my laptop. I can't extract anything. or install anything. I just got the full version of winrar, but my antivirus thinks it's a trojan and quarantines a much needed file of it and thus effectively corrupts the file of the application. I can turn it off, but that can only do so much. I hate it.

My life doesn't seem to get much better either. Yesterday in philosophy class, I learned of the last men compared to the ubermensch. And I realized, I can't be contempt with the life i have now. this doesn't make any sense at all. I shouldn't be contempt with such a dumb life like this. I must not pursue happiness, but rather, I should  create it. So, appearently, I'm brining her to go see hangover sunday. That's not going to go well. It's definitly a movie i would not bring a girl to see. I've already seen it before, but i guess this would allow me to get plenty more comfortable with her.

One step at a time. One step at a time. I'll get there, eventually.
Hopefully.

btw, my dragon finally hatched on wednesday!
And it's girl!
visit her, she's very lonely
Visit her!
 she's an eastern dragon and has a chinese name.
and she's really cute ^_^

Well, that's my update for today, hopefully i'll pass that math exam. hopefully.
Nothing much over the weekend but to just chill i suppose.
See you guys tuesday. Don't forget to support me and comment on my other blog, Eternal -the forgotten-!
Read it and Like it! =)
constructive criticism is well appreciated! very open to ideas and ways to refine and make it better!
Peace out guys.

Cloudy

It's been rainy on and off then entire week. My big math exam is tomorrow. I'm very nervous. I can't fail this. I can't afford to, i mean after all the work i did just to get in and all. Hmm, this post is actually quite lame. I don't have any real interest in typing out all this.

But it is an update post, and I guess it's required for me to do this. lmao. But yeah, because of the rain, my connection is really bad, i can't really do anything else here. My life sucks. But I think if I just start to grow contempt with what I have now, I think i'll make it out okay. Now that I think about it, maybe the life i'm trying to pursue is just asking for too much. A life of just hapiness? yeah, that does sound kinda far out, now that I think about it.

Maybe, after tomorrow's gunna be the weekend! what to do...nothing really. I guess I'll just stay in my dorm again. I should get my english work done. I haven't done a single chapter for it yet. I must be very far behind by now. I better start doing it over the weekend. Dam these flash games. Waay too addicting XD

I'm not even playing all the great mmo's i have on this laptop because of this silly flash game. it's too addicting, I should seriously get some work done. But right now, I'm too busy playing this dumb flash game. well, whatever, I got the weekend. Let's leave it at that. See you guys on sat. Peace out until then.

hmm, it's still Tuesday

Never mentioned anything about having only one update on my update days, so bleh here's a second update for tuesday XD

I was running through one of my all time fave sites, http://xkcd.com/, and thier latest comic is hilarious, i guess it's mostly because i can make a slgiht connection to it. Here, I'll even post it here.

Isn't that awesome? It is, isn't it? I certainly think in the same way that guy does, so it's all cool. Btw, I found this awesome and pointless sprite raising thing where you can grow a dragon sprite by how many vistors you get. here the link: http://www.zaoman.dragonadopters.com/dragon_247549 i think it's awesome, plus, i've already seen some of the dragon sprites and they're all very cute ^_^

Anyways, we have a calculus exam tomorrow. If i get below 60% right, i must drop the class. Now that's worrysome. On the past two quizzes i got back, one was 33/50, and the other was 7/15. no way. One was 66% right and the other is less than half. You've got to be kidding me. I never score that low on math quizzes. I've been trying to study for the exam, but i have only notes to go on. I'll need some problems to do to effectively study. But nope, not even a textbook. I mean, i have a precalc book, but what good is that?

bleh, i'm done with my share of complaining =)
until next time guys, btw enjoy xkcd, they're awesome! read all thier comics! hilarious!

Midnight Madness

I cannot believe i am doing this right now. I waited until midnight passed just so it's be Tuesday when I made this post. Scary, isn't it? But idon't have class untill 2:30pm tomorrow so it's alright. I met her again today. Did not go as planned. Are you kidding me? nothing you do ever goes as planned.

Enough of that, I need to find someone i can trust to vent to. I hate it. I hate everything. I hate my life. Just venting online isn't enough. I need to be able to speak. Not to a conselor, not to a peer, not to a professor, not to a teacher, not to an adult, but i need to vent to a friend. I would with my roommate but i'm scared, we don't know each other well enough for me to vent to him. I just want someone where i can just say "I HATE MY LIFE" to.

It's never going to happen. So i just went online to http://omegle.com/ again to talk to random strangers. Although i can't find it in me to vent to random strangers, I know that I can, however, make fun of/with them. And well, it's better than being angry all the time. But this anger just doesn't go away. I'm starting to have more and more violent thoughts. Thoughts of death, thoughts of my death, thoughts of the deaths of people i don't even know, but hate anyways.

I gotta let this go. 18 years of bottled up hatred and anger.  No one to turn to. I guess i'm just going to have to vent to myself again. It helps, not much though. Anyways, while on omegle, I came across an intellectual person, I thought those ceased to exist on the net. anyways here's the chat:

Omegle conversation log 2009-09-28
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: whats up?
Stranger: i just tried having an intelligent conversation with an omegler and they told me to fuck off
You: LOL
Stranger: yea...
Stranger: lol
You: screw them, they're probably ignorant fools
You: you have an intelligent(i hope) coversation partner right here!
Stranger: probably...but do they have to be so blatant about it?
You: lol
Stranger: i hope so too
You: XD
You: my knowledge is limited. very. XD
You: as the famous philosopher socrates once said "the only thing i know is that I don't know"
Stranger: but at least you're open to it
Stranger: BRILLIANT SENTIMENT
You: i know xP
You: after all, it was said by socrates xP
Stranger: good point
You: lol
Stranger: so what i was trying to communicate to the previous omegler is that on this site i can say anything and you'd have to believe me...because you dont know me and there arent any points to go against what im saying
You: like freud!
Stranger: exactly! and you said your knowledge was limited
Stranger: someone's modest
You: very
You: trust me, i only know about his kid sexness and cocaine habits, other than that i know nothing else XD
Stranger: lol
Stranger: well you know a little which is better than nothing
You: lol true
You: anything is better than being ignorant
You: my psych teacher always used to point that out
Stranger: actually i think the exact opposite...i think it would be pure euphoria to be completely ignorant
You: yeah, if you were completely ignorant in an ignorant world, i can see that too
Stranger: good point
You: but, if you were completely ignorant in a world like today...
You: I don't think you'd get very far
Stranger: very true
You: hmm, my bladder's full so i guess i just pee here in the middle of the highway
You: lol that's gunna cause some problems XD
Stranger: sometimes i wonder about whether there was a time when everyone was ignorant...a time when no one wanted to grow mentally or learn anything new....i try to imagine what it would be like to ive in a time like that
Stranger: i cant see myself having a problem with it
Stranger: if it was all i knew of course
You: huh, maybe in reality that is really the direction we are heading in
You: and we say that we're technologically growing
You: when instead the top secret labs are constructing a memory erasure device like in men in black to erase everyone's memorys
Stranger: we are but what are we using the growth for?
Stranger: are they really?
Stranger: :|
You: i dunno
You: it's a random guess XD
You: just like the LHC!
You: i bet it's main function was to wipe out everyone's memory!
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: thats a thought
You: using science as a cover up XD
You: a scary thought
Stranger: a terrible thought....then again a lot of things in science are scary when you really sit down and think about them
You: like the LHC >.<
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yes just like that
You: A black hole?! NO WAY. I want to live, i dunno about the other 7.8bil -1, but i bet they say the sam ething
You: or was it 8.7?
You: i dunno
Stranger: i'm sure there must be one or two weirdos who'd think it would be a fun adventure
Stranger: lol
You: lol we call them scientists
Stranger: lol
Stranger: agreed
You: xP
Stranger: you're cool i like you
You: i know i am XD
You: lol j/k xP
Stranger: haha
You: this is the result when you take a lot of philosophy and psychology classes -_-;;
You: you get no where
Stranger: HAHA
Stranger: you end up on omegle endulging some stranger in intelligent conversation
You: lmao!
You: which is equal to nowhere xP
Stranger: precisely
You: lol this is one of my favorite train reaction things:
You: you know how they say that god is love, irght?
Stranger: then again thik of who i might be forced to talk to if you weren't nowhere?
You: lol
Stranger: go on
You: well, love is blind, right?
Stranger: so god must be blind
You: and ray charles is blind, correct?
Stranger: LOL
You: so therefore ray charles = god
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: did you come up with that?
You: lol no
You: i found it in a psych text book
You: although i did say this one to someone before
You: life is short
You: you are short
You: therefore, you are life
You: I got punched really hard for that
You: never call a short girl short. ever XD
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i wish i was short
You: then you'd be life! =D
Stranger: short girls are cuter in my opinion
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: yes i wanna be life!
You: lol
You: i agree with you on the short girls part
You: definitely
You: but i definitely wouldn't mind someone around my height either
Stranger: how tall are you?
You: 5'11
You: almost 6
You: wait...where do you live? in us somewhere, right?
Stranger: nope...i wish i did
Stranger: i live in trinidad
You: lol time for some metric conversion XD
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: no way
You: hmmm...1in = 2.54cm, right?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i know what inches and feet are
Stranger: :P
You: oh lol
You: phew, i was scared that i might have to do math XD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yea math is a toughy
You: lol yeah
Stranger: what made you think i was in the us?
You: well, i just had to make sure lol
You: once i talked to someone who lived in autralia
You: australia*
Stranger: i love australians
You: yeah, they only know metric there >.<
You: feet? you mean like if we stacked up about 6 feet, you'd be that tall?
Stranger: you mean you don't know the story behind foot?
Stranger: the foot*
You: lol no
You: wish i did though
Stranger: imma tell you then
Stranger: lol
You: enlighten me. do it now!
You: before i slap you! =O
You: lol j/k
Stranger: well it originated in england (like most crazy things do) and they need a basic measurement for things that weren't exceptionally large but at the same time weren't too small so they decided that the most general measurement would be found by the king at the time
Stranger: they measured his foot which was exactly 12" and called it the foot
Stranger: voila
You: lol
You: THE foot
Stranger: thats the storybook version
Stranger: lol
You: it's the king's foot so its THE foot
You: how many foots did it take to measure a desk?
You: one. the king's foot
Stranger: LOL
You: lol just came up with that
Stranger: haha
Stranger: thats a sign that your gears are turning
Stranger: that or you're nuts
Stranger: lol
You: ehh... i'd go with both ;)
Stranger: haha
Stranger: well at least in you head things arent boring
You: lol
You: sometimes
You: I guess
You: maybe
You: no not really
You: okay, it isnt
You: wow that was a horrible chain
Stranger: haha
Stranger: it was fascinating to watch it unfold
Stranger: ah the process of thought
You: so fascinating...if you know what theyre thinking
Stranger: actually more fascinating if you don't...if i sit here and watch you type as you think things i get involved in trying to decipher what exactly is taking place
You: hmm...never thought of it that way
You: you know, that sounds kinda awesone
You: some*
You: I think i should go freak some people out with my philosophy/psychology and watch how they try to think their way through xP
Stranger: i thik that would be a good laugh
Stranger: think*
You: socrates did it XD
You: why can't we? i mean, as long as we don't get put to death like he did
Stranger: haha i think it will be the same outcome...just we'll probably get shot in the head or something...instead of there being actual legal action taken
Stranger: we'll just piss off the wrong person
You: lol
You: piss off an office worker on the brink of a meltdown
Stranger: haha!
Stranger: yes not a good idea
You: lol better watch out then
You: pick on the guys that are smiling XD
Stranger: no way...those are the ones worse off...they're the ones holding it all in waiting for something to trigger an explosion
You: ...dang
You: or maybe they're also majors in psych/philo and can crush other people who try that sillyness on them XD
Stranger: haha! now thats a thought
You: lol
Stranger: ok i have an art assignment that needs doing
Stranger: but this was exciting
You: lol okay
You: lol definitely
You: gglad to know there are some intelligent people on omegle
Stranger: glad to know that they still exist
Stranger: lol
You: XD
You: that too
Stranger: can i add you btw?
Stranger: to msn
You: sure
You: lol dont have msn
Stranger: what do you have?
You: how about an email instead lol
You: i'll get an msn on that email eventually
Stranger: lol
Stranger: sure
You: lol
You: kay
You: JckZhao@yahoo.com
You: If i see some strange email that i have no idea what is, then i'll be sure it's you XD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: you betcha
You: btw, never got your name
Stranger: janelle
You: nice jackie here
You: wait, are you a guy or girl?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: girl
You: lol i was scared for a second
You: cause i have a girls m=name but i'm a guy
You: so you can never be too sure XD
Stranger: very true
Stranger: i've got a friend named sam
Stranger: she gets hell for that all the tie
Stranger: time*
You: lol tell her to be called sammie, i think that sounds more feminine
Stranger: thing is she doesnt really mind...she's not particularly feminine anyways...its just the constant reminder...you know how people can be
You: yeah, ignorant
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yup
You: lol
Stranger: anyways!!! lol
Stranger: gtg
You: lol
You: kay
Stranger: nice talking to ya
You: go do your art thing!
You: same here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

lol, fun, hmm...psych teacher always about ignorance...how coudl that be...if it isn't Crabtree....XD
I've enjoyed it, I thought it was a guy, well, mostly because of a generaly formula i use.
on the internet, guys are guys, girls are guys, and little girls are FBI agents.

It's fun really. I like to play as a certain person, but when faced with an intellect, i like to be myself and talk about the things i learned. esp. psych. I really like it. I'm glad i chose psych. But still, i wonder...what a bio/pre-med would be like. It's a dream I've given up on.

Why? because i was weak back then. Hanging on to a dream would only carry on my weakness with me. I'm stronger now. I know i am. I need to be. I need to be stronger. I need to be confident. I need to be. If you aren't strong, well, you must be. An old friend of mine, dknight, used to say.

Well, I better get some sleep though, I better get up tomorrow before noon so i could go to the bank and set up an  account and get rid of this paycheck before it expires on me. Don't want that week of hard work to dissapear on me. Thanks for bearing with me guys. I know there's not alot of people viewing this, but Thanks for reading what I have to say, It means alot to me. kay, thanks, well, peacce out guys ;)

Let's be friends. = (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with)

Things didn't turn out to be so bad after all. I hope. From my viewpoint at least. We got to sit down for breakfast and we talked for an hour. give or take 15 minutes. I really enjoyed it. She said that we should just be friends. Funny thing is that I was going to say that. Maybe it would have been better if i was the one to say that rather than her. Who knows? either way, it's an opening for me at least.

given this 3 months ago, I probably would've just given up. I've definitely grown. I've grown stronger. It's a great opportunity for me to build confidence in talking to women i like. After, all, this is really the first time i've even had a conversation that lasted more than 20 seconds. And I have a failsafe plan just in case. just in case. Let us hope it doesn't get that far.

On another note, I found this really sick nasty site that allows you to talk to strangers. here it is http://omegle.com/ It's hilarious, I stayed up till 2 in the morning last night talking to random strangers. lol, last night in the morning. That contradicts itself. Wow, that reminds me, here's how one of my conversations went:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: testing...
Stranger: testing successful
Stranger: mission complete
You: nice! it works!
Stranger: great job kid
You: thanks
Stranger: go team
Stranger: we did it
You: i figured after about 100 times i'm bound to get it to work
Stranger: what typing
You: yes
You: typing
Stranger: ok, you want me to wonder what you successfully completed, but jokes on you because i don't give a shit
You: lmao
Stranger: but seriously what
You: lol it was typing
You: i was making a joke by saying it took me 100 tries xP
Stranger: well... good job?
You: the last 100 ppl i talked too were very anti social
Stranger: 100 people wow
Stranger: you most be very social
You: give or take about 97
Stranger: o ok
Stranger: fuzzy math
Stranger: i get it
You: lol
Stranger: so now that you've successfully managed to complete your typing, what are you going to do next
Stranger: disney world
Stranger: world travels
You: umm...havent planned that far...
Stranger: one step at a time
Stranger: baby steps
You: dang...well there goes my life >.<
Stranger: no... you've got to live for today
Stranger: first typing
Stranger: then who knows what
Stranger: maybe making a sandwich
You: then frat parties, right?
Stranger: maybe watching a movie
Stranger: yea
Stranger: who knows where it will take you
Stranger: typing is the foundation of a great life
You: maybe i'll get lucky in a bathroom XD
Stranger: you see... thinking big already
Stranger: a dreamer, this one
You: wow, already?
You: nice!
You: but it's tomrrow night >.>
Stranger: the frat party
You: dang, must keep typing untill then
Stranger: i guess so
Stranger: practice makes perfect
You: 24 hours more to go
Stranger: so what fraternity is it that you are going to make somebody a lucky person in a private bathroom
You: i dunno
Stranger: doesn't matter what you type
You: i go to random frat parties
Stranger: cause i don't know either
You: i think this one's tau kappa epsilon?
You: i dunno they all have greek letters for names
Stranger: what school are the connected with or whatever
Stranger: they connected with i mean
You: no idea
You: i think it's math?
You: i just go to thier parties XD
Stranger: haha fair enough
Stranger: ok let's get down to brass tax here then...
Stranger: where are you from
You: NY
You: you?
Stranger: california
You: nice! oppposite sides of this great nation
Stranger: exactly
You: so how life on the eat coast?
You: heard its waay better than the west side
Stranger: east coast/west coast beef
Stranger: i'm on the west coast
Stranger: you're on the east coast
You: fuck the world map
Stranger: cali's ok
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: i make my own directions
You: the east is west of us and the west is east of us
Stranger: that's deep
You: the eastern guys
You: china and asian countrys are known as the east
You: and theyre west of us >.>
Stranger: everybody is west of somebody
You: lol but theyre the eat, shouldnt they always be on the east?
Stranger: they are in my head
You: lol
Stranger: so tupac or biggie
You: tu pac
Stranger: what?
Stranger: biggie
Stranger: see maybe you are west and i am east
Stranger: the fighting continues
You: lol
You: this world is wierd
Stranger: indeed
Stranger: but why do you think it's weird
You: the west is east and the east is west
You: but the opposite applies too
Stranger: o i thought you meant in a more philisophical sense
Stranger: but yes it is
You: lol that too
You: by suggesting that east is west and that east is east,
You: and that west is east and west is west,
You: makes these statements contradict themselves
Stranger: "...where do we fit into the big picture?"
You: we fit in america
Stranger: "...are we insignificant?"
Stranger: america is the starting point of the compass
You: we are americans, we are never insignificant
Stranger: haha that's true
You: we're justs that good =)
Stranger: word
Stranger: i do a lot of studies of the middle east and it has made me so glad to live in america
Stranger: they are really fucked up over there
You: lol
You: tru dat!
Stranger: so do you go to school there in ny
You: yup
You: in college
Stranger: right on
Stranger: what's your major
You: psychology
You: you?
Stranger: nice
Stranger: that's my favorite subject
Stranger: i'm in the air force
Stranger: hence the middle eastern studies
You: ah, i see
You: psych is really fun and interesting
Stranger: what year are you in
You: i'm a freshman this year
You: you fly copters?
Stranger: no... i wish it was that exciting
Stranger: i'm a linguist
You: oh ouch, not very exciting huh?
Stranger: eh not so much
Stranger: i guess it's better than getting shot at though
You: yeah, definitly
You: i once had a math teacher who was an air force copter polit
You: pilot*
Stranger: o yea?
Stranger: is he retired
Stranger: or she
You: from the air force, yup
You: he
You: now he teaches math in a high school
Stranger: that's cool
You: used to tell us storys of flying a helicopter
You: and telling us how freaky it could get and stuff
Stranger: i imagine
You: like if you get caught in high velocity winds, you're done for
Stranger: yea, that's takes a lot of guts
Stranger: i'm guessing he was an officer?
You: probably
You: he never really told us
You: he would just tell us random stories of his days on the air force and math.
You: i much perfered the former XD
Stranger: haha yea math sucks
Stranger: but psychology...
Stranger: i love getting into peoples' heads
You: I have to take a stats class though if i plan on keeping my major as a psych
You: lol yea its fun
Stranger: bleh
Stranger: stats
You: esp. if you know some philosophy like socrates, you can mess with people so bad
Stranger: mess with me
Stranger: freak me out
You: lol i'll try
You: how are you today?
Stranger: 23
You: you're 23?
You: i asked how you are doing lol
Stranger: what the hell i thought you said how old are you
You: XD
Stranger: you're already messing with me
You: lol these things happen
Stranger: i
Stranger: am good
You: lmao
You: okay
You: by saying good, you know what the meaning of good is, right?
Stranger: yes
You: tell me, what is good exactly?
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: it
Stranger: is...
Stranger: not bad
Stranger: and
Stranger: in regards to feelings, it means that you are healthy
Stranger: and
Stranger: content
Stranger: and, despite some misfortunes, happy with your current state
Stranger: it means comfortable
Stranger: and
Stranger: that is good
You: i see,
You: and wouldn'y you say that being comfortable would be like if you were comfortable with a friends?
You: friend*
Stranger: you could say that
Stranger: being good with a friend
You: So by saying that, if you were comfortable with a friend that would make him good right?
Stranger: not necessarily, but your relationship is good
Stranger: maybe he/she is one of those misfortunes
You: so he wouldn't really be good
Stranger: maybe he is
Stranger: i don't know
You: but if he robs banks and terrorizes people, then he's a bad person
Stranger: or misguided
You: and if you're comfortable with him, then he's good
Stranger: your relationship is good
You: ah, i see
Stranger: but then if you have a good relationship with a bad or misguided person...
Stranger: i guess that makes you bad
You: so then, you wouldn't be good
Stranger: you're blowin my mind right now
You: lol this is so hard XD
You: you almost got me
You: I got stuck until you said comfortable lol
Stranger: i knew i shouldn't have written that haha
Stranger: i tried to dictionary.com it, but my internet connection is too slow
You: but that is a really refined definition
You: oh lol XD
You: it was rather a good one though
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: i've taken a few psych classes myself
You: yeah, they're fun
You: you learned about freud yet?
Stranger: i did, but to be honest... my knowledge of freud has all but left my brain
You: lol thats good
You: he is one weirdo
Stranger: i know all of his theories were sex based
You: lol that's why he's a weirdo XD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: or a genuis
Stranger: probably a weirdo though
You: lol that tooo
You: lol
You: he's a cocaine addict who talks about things like kid sex, you tell me >.<
Stranger: he was addicted to coke... i did not know that
You: yup, mad on it too
You: lol
Stranger: went from the oral stage straight to the nasal stage
You: lmao
You: skipped a few stages, but it's all cool, cause he wants to make out with his mother
Stranger: haha yea... what was that... oedipus... or something
You: lol yup
You: the oedipus complex
Stranger: who doesn't want to make out with their mom...
Stranger: i mean, really
You: there was an electra complex too, but that was his daughter
Stranger: what is that one
You: its when the daughter wants to make out with the father
Stranger: o ok... the reverse
Stranger: and kill the mother?
You: this came from Freud's daughter
You: yup
You: hmm...something weird must be going on between freud and his daughter...need i say it?
Stranger: haha... see but when you're a "thinker" like that you can make reasons to explain the things you do
Stranger: "o no, it's natural to want to be with your mother and your daughter"
You: i know, he made it all unconsious
You: we all are unconsiously like that according to freud
You: that's why he is a genius, no one can disprove him
Stranger: that's true
Stranger: psychology is a fuzzy area though
Stranger: there is not a lot you can really prove
You: yeah,
You: and the things you can prove, you can't because it goes against ethics
Stranger: such as
You: seeing whether breast feeding a baby makes them smarter
Stranger: i don't think that's unethical
You: to do this, we'd have to have the parents risk the chance of making thier babies dumber
You: no one would agree to it
Stranger: you could just find your sample group made up of mothers who are going to breast feed their babies anyway and mothers that are not going to breast feed their babies anyway
Stranger: nobody would be changing anything
Stranger: the testers would simply monitor the children throughout their life, 25-30 years
You: but think about it, the mother who dont breast feed are usually busy, thats why they can breast feed
Stranger: possibly
You: and research shows that by the touch that is recieved from breastfeeding releases a chemical that alters a babie's mind
Stranger: but if you could find such a sample group, it would be possible to test
You: so to make sure that only the breast milk is only being tested,
Stranger: o, i see where you're going
Stranger: you would have to control the lives of this family for the duration of the study
You: basically
Stranger: that's why you're the major haha
You: XD
Stranger: i wouldn't have thought of that
You: no, i just have really good professors
You: they make sure i consider everything lol
You: EVERYTHING, it gets annoying, but i try to find ways around it XD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yea that is probably the best advice ever
Stranger: "consider everything"
Stranger: and not just for psychology
Stranger: for every aspect of life
You: yeah, i never saw it outside psych before
You: now that i think about it
Stranger: for instance, does god exist?
Stranger: maybe he does
You: you're right
Stranger: but maybe he doesn't
You: to consider everything, like every single aspect
Stranger: "consider everything" and then draw a conclusion
You: it's a good way to make informed decisions
Stranger: exactly
You: I should start doing that
Stranger: one thing that is hard for me to take, is when people are raised to believe something (and not just religiously) and don't change because that's how they were raised
Stranger: despite logic
You: yes that and ignorant people who doesn't want to learn
Stranger: exactly
You: they say ignorance is bliss, but are ignorant people really happy?
Stranger: they sure seem happy during their bull rides and eating contests and praise and worship sessions
Stranger: but maybe they just want to make out with their mothers
You: lmao
You: maybe that too
You: Socrates once said "the unexamined life is not worth living."
Stranger: because and the end of it, what difference does it make
Stranger: or did it make
Stranger: you lived and died
Stranger: and the world is the same for it
You: I don't think it's in the end, but how you live it
You: i mean in the end, nothing one does might sem significant to another person
You: but, i think the things i do are significant to me, i think that's what really matters
Stranger: but eternal life is that significance
Stranger: meaning the impact that you make on your friends and family and country and world will be the way that you live forever
You: i dunno, if you're the only one that has eternal life,
Stranger: it's a symbolic eternal life
You: then you'd have the press all over you the rest of your life, and thats a long time
Stranger: i mean you die
Stranger: but your name lives on
Stranger: and your deeds live on
You: ah, i see
You: like socrates, right?
Stranger: i don't know
Stranger: haha
You: lol he existed in the 400bc
Stranger: and we're still talking about him
You: and even today we're still talking about him and his deeds
Stranger: eternal life
Stranger: exactly
You: but i think as long as it's significant to you, thats all that should matter
Stranger: as long as nobody is hurt in the process
You: haha yes, that too
Stranger: ok... meaning of life
Stranger: 30 seconds
Stranger: GO!!
You: lol
You: you mean we finally get to it?
You: like in monty pythons?
Stranger: haha
You: it takes us about 90% of the movie before we even begin to consider it
You: I think the meaning of life is nothing more than just living life to the fullest
Stranger: good answer
You: and experiencing what the world has to offer
Stranger: seeking peace
Stranger: that's what i say
Stranger: and experiencing the world
You: amen to that
You: living and not giving up, through the happy times, through the harsh times.
You: through peace, and through war
Stranger: word
You: seeing with your own eyes, not just seeing, but percieving the world with your own senses
Stranger: o man, this is deep
You: this is what happens when you take alot of psych and philosophy classes XD
Stranger: this is a good time to roll a joint
Stranger: haha
You: lol
You: at 3 in the morning?
Stranger: 4:20 in the morning...
Stranger: wait an hour 20
You: is it?
Stranger: no
You: oh lol
Stranger: it's 9 here
You: cause it's midnight here
You: and i think califonia's 3 hours away
You: i cant remember if it's plus or minus
Stranger: three hours to the east
Stranger: just remember the red hot chili peppers,
Stranger: "the sun may rise in the east at least it settles in a final location"
You: lol i do now
You: so it's nine over there, right?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: 9 on a friday night and i'm in my dorm talking online
Stranger: *sigh
Stranger: but this conversation is actually fun though
Stranger: so i guess it's ok
You: lol its midnight here and im in my dorm on a friday night/sat morning talking online XD
You: haha, yeah, this actually really interesting
Stranger: so i never got your name
You: It's jackie
You: yours?
Stranger: i'm kevin
You: nice you got email?
You: btw, i'm a guy, so i know it's kinda wierd, but i have to live with it XD
Stranger: haha, no that's not weird
Stranger: i've heard weirder guy names
You: *cough* eugene *cough*
Stranger: haha yea
Stranger: my brother in laws name is cassidy
You: lol
Stranger: yea tell me about it
You: well, atleast theres this one famous world figure that a guy who shares the same name as me
You: that's*
Stranger: robinson?
Stranger: gleason?
Stranger: the ripper?
You: hmm...make that 3
You: 4
Stranger: the last is a stretch
Stranger: who else though
You: the chan man
Stranger: o hahahaha
Stranger: of course
Stranger: how could i forget the chan man
You: unless he somehow is no longer a world figure XD
Stranger: haha of course he's a world figure
Stranger: he's jackie chan
You: they even have a cartoon show starring him xP
Stranger: what?!!
Stranger: i had no idea
You: yea
You: its true
You: it's called jackie chan adventures
Stranger: haha yes
Stranger: i'm sure jackie chan has many adventures
You: he does, probably does too
You: wait...does thatsentence makes sense?
Stranger: no
Stranger: haha
You: lol
You: a paradoxal sentence
Stranger: or a grammatically incorrect sentence
Stranger: you be the judge
You: *flips coin*
You: uh oh...it landed on its side
Stranger: paradoxal it is then
You: lol
You: whoa, that was pretty off topic XD
Stranger: i think we're in a grey "off-topic" area right now
You: lol
You: this entire convo is off topic
Stranger: or is it all on topic
You: by being off topic lol
You: wait...it's on topic by being off topic
Stranger: that's paradoxal
You: lol thats what i was thinking
You: that means that this convo doesnt make any sense!
Stranger: i concur
Stranger: or whatever
You: lmao
You: but surely i understood you when you said you concur
You: so it makes sense, but doesnt at the same time!
Stranger: my mind is in the process of being blown
You: mine is too
You: Heck, we might be able to make the universe implode by this amount of paradoxes
Stranger: shh...
Stranger: don't say anything else
Stranger: the earth is on it's cilter
Stranger: kilter?
You: lol
Stranger: killter?
Stranger: i don't know if that's even a word
You: lol
Stranger: uhhhh... i miss weed
You: kilter, yup its a word
Stranger: kilter
Stranger: it's off kilter
You: un normal?
You: of course! thats cause the LHC exists!
Stranger: ok... so it is kilter?
You: yup
Stranger: THC?
You: i dunno
Stranger: haha
You: large hadron collider
You: there we go XD
Stranger: tetrahydrochronicgoodtimeplant
Stranger: or something like that
You: time plant?
You: is that a plant that can travel time?
Stranger: goodtimeplant
You: ah, plant as in to place, right?
Stranger: no as in a plant that grows from the ground that you smoke and have a good time with
You: oh lol
Stranger: like cartoons and cocoa puffs
You: cartoons grow from the ground?
Stranger: no that would be shrooms
You: llol bad misinterpretations XD
You: lo lthat too
You: did you know if you consume enough shrooms over a long period of time, you can tripp out by cracking your neck?
Stranger: well i hate to cut the convo short, but i just got an important call and i have to go now
You: na its cool
You: you're doing it for the better of this nation right?
Stranger: haha yea
Stranger: i hope so
You: It's why i respect you guys
Stranger: or what does it all mean
You: lol i'd go philosophical right here, but you've gotta go
Stranger: yea... haha ok peace out
You: peace then,
You: and create it!
Stranger: word
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wow, it's kinda long, but I think it's worth reading at least. It's very fun.
This is me being myself/goofy. Sometimes i pretend i'm a mean guy, sometimes, i pretend
i'm a ganster, sometimes, i even pretend i'm a girl XD
I personally like it. It's something to do when i'm bored. Well, I guess that's my volume of space i'm willing to take up for today. Enjoy your days guys! I sure did >.<

There is no meaning in doing this, yet why do I keep pursuing?

What the [insert random profanity here] happened?! I know I said i updates t,th,and sat's. But It's just there's too much going on right now for me to not do this. My brain got scrambled. I don't know what to say, what to do, anymore. I got messed up. On the inside. This is not how I wanted things to be. I know that fate can be mean at times...but, it's always mean to me in this fashion.

I hate my life again. It doesn't seem to be improving. I read all my old posts here, for those of you who were around back then. I remembered what it was like. Blasting rock music with ear phones on. It feels good, somehow it isn't, but it does.

Dammit, why did my brain get scrambled right then?! It still is now. I need to rest my disorganized head. I need to do something. I can't just do nothing again. I can't lose to fate, not anymore. Dammit man, Get a hold of yourself! you must make this right. How? I...I don't know anymore. Is this fate? No.

You've got to quit blaming things on an entity! You don't even know if it exists! The real problem is you! Can't you see that?! I've got to stop this. You're the only one to blame, man. You're the only one. You've got to fix it, If you're really sorry for yourself, then use that remorse and DO SOMETHING with it! You're right. I can't give up now. But what choice do I have?

I guess I can start with what I can do for now. I can't afford to mess this up anymore. This really is your last chance to make it. the last one. You can't let this up , not here, not now, not EVER.

No more coin flips, no more letting chance solve everything. It's all about action now. It's all about being who I NEED to be. I need to be myself. Currently I'm missing 2/3'rds of myself. I'm going to have to learn to be without those parts of me for now. And be whole with what I have. Don't be unitelligent. Bat Chung Ming.

This may be false hope, but...It's better than having no hope at all.

Lethal Goldfish Spirit

While I was surfing the net, I came across a random name generator and I decided to check it out. Eventually I came across a martial arts name generator at http://www.ruf.rice.edu/~pound/kungfu.html. The results are hilarious. What it does is that it randomly generates names that sound like martial arts moves. lol. Lethal Gold Fish Spirit. Now that's a name I'll be shouting while I'm beating someone down with my nun-chucks.
"HUH?! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? EAT MY LETHAL GOLDFISH SPIRIT!!!"

And that's only one of them. Anyways, back to academics, I got out of Calculus class at 10am today, we had a  quiz at the end, at first i didn't get any of them, but I realized that these are no longer simple 'solve for x' problems. These are functions. I'm hoping I get a perfect on it. I suck at math lmao.

Right now I don't have class until 2:30pm and that's philosophy. We just finished reading a dialogue entitle Laches by Plato. These are basically arguments between random people and Socrates as they try to find the definition of universal meanings like courage and piety. Even though I believe that these meanings cannot be defined whatsoever, these dialogues actually provide an insight on these universal meanings and it feels like it brings me one step closer to understanding the real meaning of these universal words.

On another note, you guys should check out my other blog! It's a story I'm writing that I started like twelve days ago. If it's not your thing then 'oh well', read it anyways to support me!